boys_fuck_boys

16

2008-08-22T04:21:05Z

15

2008-08-11T05:30:35Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing.
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too?
Chapter: 15/20+Epilogue.
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: So I'm actually kind of proud of this chapter, but also a little disappointed in myself with it. I hope everyone likes it and you should all be happy with it!! :)

2: kathybates brought it to my attention that either she or other readers (I'm not too sure) were trying to view my previous chapters and they were friends only (which I knew obviously, lol). The reason for that is my writing is really personal, only one friend of mine knows I write fanfictions, hence the friends only. BUT I made all the chapters for THIS STORY ONLY public, so it's easier for those of you who haven't read it to read. :)

3: You're still totally welcome to add that journal (or this one!) to read anything else I've written.

Previous Chapters:
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 06 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 07 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 08 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 09 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 10 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 11 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 12 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 13 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 14 (Seb's POV)

After walking Sebastien to his class on thursday after lunch, I couldn't help but feel like shit. I did the only thing I could think of to try and prove to Seb that I was trying, and he turned it down. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. I didn't pay attention in class when I really should have been. I didn't even talk to anyone else for the rest of the day, until practice.

Our practice wasn't long since Coach didn't want us to be "overworked" or something, and we all got to go home around four o'clock. It wasn't that much shorter in all honesty. I was ready to just get home, relax, and eventually figure out a way to impress Sebastien, and that's exactly what I did. Luckily my mom was on time to pick me up and I didn't have to wait around and talk to anyone I didn't want to.

When I got home I had dinner with my parents and then spent the rest of the night in my room thinking, watching tv only for background noise. Sure I had homework, but how could I possibly concentrate on it when this whole thing with Sebastien was way more important? I tried to think of ways to prove to him I wanted to be with him. I knew the only thing I could do is take it a step further each day. So today I sat with him, tomorrow I'd have to be seen with him more. I'd have to find him in the morning, walk him to class, and sit with him at lunch again.

I sat there thinking of all these things, and then something clicked in my head. He would be on the bus with us heading to the game tomorrow night, that would be the perfect opportunity to show some my feelings for Seb. I couldn't believe that didn't click in my head sooner. I had no idea what I was going to do, but hopefully his friends Patrick and David would make him sit alone leaving me to sit next to him.

I fell asleep that night feeling a little happier than I did earlier and I felt even better when I woke up the next morning. I couldn't hide the fact that I was extremely happy about the game tonight, even if Seb was kind of mad at me. I obviously knew sitting next to him wasn't good enough, but hopefully I could think of something more impactful throughout the day.

I spent the time in all my classes thinking of other ways to show Seb how I feel, but nothing really came to my mind. I knew Jamie would start shit on the bus with Seb, and I figured I would just use that as my opportunity. Of course there was a small chance that Jamie wouldn't start with Seb, but I knew him well enough to know that 99% of the time, he will start shit. I don't know what is it about Sebastien that makes him tick. Sure he's gay, but there is a lot of gay kids at the school (myself including obviously), so why of all people does he pick on Seb? I know that that's a huge reason why I started noticing Sebastien again, I've seen Jamie pick on so many kids and I never did anything, until it was Sebastien getting picked on.

Naturally, it took that and me getting suspended to realize that the "life" I was living wasn't the life I really wanted to live. I didn't want to party and hook up with random people, that's not what I wanted when I started high school. I sighed, I didn't even know how my thoughts got so off track. The bell rang sounding lunch and I was pretty happy about that. It meant that all I had to do was eat lunch (hopefully with Seb), and leave for the game (hopefully sitting next to Seb).

I bought my lunch and looked around the room for Sebastien. I found him over at the table he always sits only this time he was sitting by himself, perfect. I was a little nervous about sitting with him because I knew Jamie was at this lunch, obviously all the soccer players were, but I didn't let that stop me. I walked over to where he was sitting and sat down right across from him.

"Hi Seb." His head shot up from the table to look at me.

"Oh, hey Chuck. Not sitting with the team?"

"Nah, I wanted to sit with you." I said looking right into his eyes. We stayed quiet for only a few minutes before he spoke.

"Are you nervous about the game?" I didn't even think of being nervous to be honest.

"Not really, my mind hasn't been on soccer, it's been on other things." Was I being obvious? I hoped so.

"You'll do fine, as always." He smiled his gorgeous smile at me.

"Thanks Seb."

I smiled back just as Patrick and David walked over to the table. We talked throughout lunch, Patrick and David asking me again if I was nervous about the game, I just told them no. They didn't need to hear me act desperate towards Seb. The bell rang ending lunch all too quickly. The four of us stood up and went seperate ways, but of course I had to make sure Seb saved me a seat. So I called out his name.

"Hey Seb!" He turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Save me a seat okay?"

"Uh, o-okay, sure."

I smiled at him before heading off towards to my locker to grab my soccer bag. I met up with Pierre on the way to my locker as his locker was near mine.

"Hey Chuck, I didn't even know you were here. Where were you?"

"I sat with Seb."

"Really?"

"Yup. I sat with him yesterday too."

"You're really trying to make an impact on this kid huh?"

"Yeah man, I mean I haven't thought about how big of a deal this game is tonight, and the games this weekend, because I've been so wrapped up in him."

"Chuck Comeau not think about soccer? That's crazy."

"Haha Pierre, but seriously, I just don't know why he's so different than anyone else I've ever met."

"I don't know man, but hey if it makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks Pierre, I'm glad you're one of the few normal ones on the team."

We laughed as we went to our lockers. I really was glad that Pierre was someone I knew could be a good friend, I needed more people like him and Sebastien in my life then people like Jamie. I walked out to where the bus was supposed to be, but like always it was late. Most of the team was already waiting outside, in an almost perfect circle which I found weird. Then of course, I heard the noise and knew exactly what was going on.

I broke through the circle and of course Jamie had Seb pinned down on the ground. I couldn't believe that he would even risk that before the game, not that it mattered if he played anyway. I looked to see if the coach was around, and I already knew he wasn't. I pulled Jamie off of Sebastien and pushed him away.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Jamie?!"

"What does it fucking look like? I was showing that little fag his place before you came along." He said as he pushed me back and I was so tempted to knock him the fuck out, but I just got back from suspension and really, I didn't want to spend another week away from school.

"Leave him alone Jamie, I don't have to fucking knock you out."

"Aw how cute Chuck's sticking up for his little fag."

"I told you to leave him alone. He's my friend, so the next time I hear his name followed by anything bad come out of your mouth, your jaw's gonna be wired shut!"

"Oh yeah? What's he your knew boytoy? Well how does this sound Sebastien, which even sounds like a fag name, is a nothing but a..."

"Hey! What's going on over there?"

Coach's voice broke through and it was a damn good thing. He already insulted Sebastien enough and I knew if he kept going I would've hit him and I would be suspended again.

"Nothing Coach, just arguing about some game plans." Hah, yeah fucking right. Game plans my ass.

"It better be nothing, you'll be both suspended if you two get into another 'argument,' you understand?"

"Yeah Coach."

"Good. The bus is here. King sit in back, Comeau sit in front."

I let everyone get into the bus before me, I had to make sure Seb was okay. He was further behind than everyone, and he looked like he was ready to cry. It broke my heart to see him like that. I stopped him before we made our way onto the bus.

"Hey, Sebub, are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"N-no, I'm fine." He wouldn't look up at me, so I made him.

"Are you sure? I'll kick his ass if he hurt you. You know I don't want you to be hurt."

"No really Chuck, I'm fine, j-just a little shaken up."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

He smiled a small smile and I smiled back. Everyone was already seated and silent when we walked on the bus and then I realized why. I just showed how much I care about Seb in front of everyone, and I didn't even care. I smiled as I looked around, catching Pierre, who was also smiling. I sat down next to Seb and looked over at him, he had a smile on his face too. I was pretty sure that if I looked at Patrick and David's faces, they'd be smiling too. I smiled to myself a bigger smile and realized that I really didn't give a shit if anyone else but them was smiling.

The bus started moving and I hear everyone whisper or pull out their iPods or something to do on the two hour ride to Ottawa, our rival team. I didn't mind sitting in silence because I was pretty sure David would start up a conversation pretty soon. Just from hanging out with that kid twice I've learned that he never shuts the hell up.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, David started a conversation. I heard Sebastien laughed and automatically looked over at him. I was happy to see him smiling again after what Jamie just did to him. He caught me staring at him and smiled at me. I smiled back because I'm an idiot and all I can ever do is smile when I'm around Seb. I looked away from him before I heard his voice.

"Hey Chuck,"

"Yeah Seb?"

"Thanks for sticking up for me."

I turned back to look at him as I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't need to say your welcome, or no problem, or meaningless stuff like that. He knew what it meant for me to stand up for him, and he knew what it meant just by me asking if he was okay in front of everyone, even if I didn't realize that that ended up being my big impactful move. I took my arms from around him and held his hand, still not giving a fuck who saw.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

14

2008-08-07T20:17:36Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 14/20(At least I'm trying for that)
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: So this took for-fucking-ever. I've been kinda busy and I just didn't really have the ideas or the time to just sit down and right it. I almost wish I never did Seb's POV because his POV is hard for me to write getting closer towards ending it (maybe). So I apologize that it took so long, this time I really am working on 15 and that WILL be out sooner.

2: Also thanks to everyone who showed concern about what I was going through a few weeks ago, I appreciate it. Thanks to all those that read and comment. :) Sorry the chapters have been short lately.

Previous Chapters: Friends Only Journal
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 06 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 07 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 08 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 09 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 10 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 11 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 12 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 13 (Chuck's POV)

Waking up on wednesday I wasn't really happy or sad. On one hand, I knew I wouldn't have to see Chuck today. On the other, I wanted to see him. I told Pat and Dave what happened during breakfast and they mad me feel better about my decision. Both agreed that it was the right thing to do because Chuck really couldn't be with me, then not be with me. After breakfast nothing eventful happened, I went to my classes, took notes, went to lunch (by myself), and had more classes.

Today was one of the days where the paper didn't have a meeting, that I was thankful. David ended up coming over after school to start working on the project we had to do for History, since that one was going to take A LOT more work. He stayed for dinner, played Barbies with Kaylyn (seriously, he loves Barbie), and ended up going home around nine.

It was the perfect ending to my uneventful day. After settling in for an early night, I started to think about Chuck, which I realized at some point tomorrow, I'd probably have to face him. I knew I wouldn't have to face him on the bus (I've noticed he never took it), but actually being at school was a whole different story. Especially if we had lunch together, and I really hoped we didn't.

Thursday morning I woke up feeling the same as I had on wednesday, only just slightly worse. For the second time this week I contemplated not going to school, but today was my mom's day off and in all honesty, I can't lie to my mom, I'd feel like shit. I forced myself out of bed and got ready before heading downstairs for breakfast. My mom offered me a ride to school, but I really didn't want an awkward silence car ride with her, so I didn't take the ride. Besides, I needed to talk to Pat anyway.

Pat didn't meet me at my house as usual because this time, he was running late. I felt bad about always talking to him about my problems lately, so I didn't push trying to talk to him about Chuck. He knew something was up though, because I wasn't talking at all.

"Dude, what's going on?"

"Do I even have to tell you?"

"You're nervous about Chuck coming back to school today aren't you?"

"Yeah..."

"Seb, don't even worry about it, you probably won't even see him."

"I hope I don't, at least not today anyway."

Little did I know, we were both way wrong about me not seeing him. It was at lunch when I actually saw him. Now, normally my mom makes my lunch, but she hadn't had time to go food shopping yet so, of course, I had to buy lunch today. After waiting in line for practically all of lunch, I made my way over to the table where Pat, David, and I always sit. Only today, there was someone else with them and I knew exactly who it was. I just didn't know why he was sitting there.

I walked over to the table and sat down next to Chuck. He was talking to Pat and David (who just looked at me with huge grins on their faces), but when I placed my plate of food on the table, he looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back, because apparently, I can't stay mad at Chuck even when he deserves it. I still didn't know why he was sitting with us instead of all his friends, I guess maybe this is his way of trying to prove something to me. I didn't talk to much until David asked why I was so quiet.

"Just thinking is all."

"Care to share?" I looked at David and already knew he had an idea of what, or rather who, I was thinking about.

"Just about all the projects I have due." I lied, of course.

"So that's all projects?"

"Yup."

I finished, smiling at David because I wasn't going to say anything about Chuck while sitting right next to him. I looked over at him and noticed he wasn't looking at any of us. I didn't know if I should ask him if he was okay or if I should just leave him to his thoughts, he really did seem upset though. Pat, Dave, and I continued talking that was until I saw Chuck look at me in the corner of my eye. Then he spoke up.

"Hey Patrick, David, do you two think I could talk to Seb alone?" Oh no, we are so NOT having a talk right in the middle of lunch.

"Sure Chuck, I need to grab a soda from the vending machine anyway. C'mon Pat!" They left and I was pretty sure I had a look of pure shock on my face.

"Look, Seb. I just need to tell you this okay."

"Chuck, we're not going to have this conversation in the middle of lunch."

"Please just listen?" I looked into his eyes, which was the worse thing I could have done. I sighed and nodded my head for him to continue.

"I know that I was an asshole when I told you I didn't want to say anything to anyone, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't know how else to prove that to you than to sit with you. I know it's lame, but it was the only thing I could think of."

I didn't know what to say. I mean, I totally love the fact that he's trying, but just sitting with me at lunch? He needs to do a lot more than that, and he needs to know that.

"Chuck, I really appreciate the fact that you're trying, but honestly you need to do a lot more than just sit with me at lunch. I mean, no one even cares right now that you're sitting here."

"I know that, and I still hope that you can give me time to figure out a better way to prove to you that I really do want to be with you."

"Chuck, I'm only going to give you a little more time. After that it's either be with me, or forget about me."

I didn't want Chuck to forget about me, but if he wasn't ready to admit he wanted to be with me, then there was no way we could be friends. He walked with me to my class after lunch, his was a few doors down, and we had an awkward goodbye. I was thankful David wasn't in any of my after lunch classes and that I could just go home right after school. I was almost thankful that it was friday but then I realized that Chuck's big return to soccer was friday night. It was an away game, so naturally that meant Pat, Dave, and I all had to leave school early (yay for that) and go on the bus with the team. I wasn't thankful about that, and I hoped Chuck wouldn't try his "sitting with me" thing again.

I went right home after school, thankfully not seeing Chuck at all, and started to work on my homework and all those projects. I ate dinner with my family, played Barbies with Kaylyn, and got all my camera equipment ready for school. I was excited for the game and that Chuck was playing (feelings aside) because this could be the third year that we win the championship, it all depends on these next three games this weekend, and I get to be a part of it.

I was nervous though because I knew Pat & David were gonna leave me to sit by myself, they didn't know about what happened at lunch with Chuck and I, but they would and that wouldn't stop them from leaving an empty seat next to me, especially since the captain sits up front. Lucky me.

My thoughts kept going back to Chuck even though I tried to force myself not to think about him. I couldn't help myself, I wanted to be mad at Chuck so bad, but at the same time I wanted to be with him. I once again hoped Chuck would decide soon, because I don't how long I'll be able to last feeling like this.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

forgot to post here...13.

2008-07-21T06:09:09Z

You Were The Thing Missing Chapter 12

2008-07-09T17:22:17Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck, my faveeee.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 12/20(At least I'm trying for that)
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who comments, sebguitar especially because you leave the most amazing comments!!

2: So I got back on track after switching back to Chuck's POV. I have chapter 13 already written and I'm working on 14. Also, I apologize for the dialogue being so repetitive but I feel it was what I needed to do to get both their emotions out there and everything, so I really hope you all enjoy!

Previous Chapters: Friends Only Journal
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 06 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 07 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 08 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 09 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 10 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 11 (Seb's POV)

Waking up on Tuesday morning I was so excited. It's such a great thing that Jamie sucks at soccer, now I can go back to playing and back to seeing Sebastien at all of the games. I was a little nervous about running into him during practice because I wasn't sure what to say to him about the kiss, but I knew I needed to talk to him about it. I was starting to question whether it was the right thing to do seeings as though I haven't talked to him. I still didn't even know if he had feelings for me or if I just forced myself to believe he did.

I forced myself out of bed early to do whatever chores I knew my parents had left for me to do, seeing as I was still technically grounded. I didn't have a ride to practice today, since I don't have a car yet because I don't have a job to pay for one, so I was forced to walk, I really had to finish all of these chores as fast as possible. There wasn't much to do besides rake up the leaves in the front and backyard. It was starting to get colder out and I figured by Thanksgiving I'd probably already be shoveling snow. It was only the beginning of November by the way.

I finished raking the leaves around one-thirty. I put all the bags with leaves along the fence before heading inside. I didn't bother taking a shower because I was just going to get sweaty at practice anyway, so what was the point? It was normally a fifteen minute ride from my house to school on the bus, so that meant an half hour walk. I left my house at two and realized that I was way too late to even try to see Sebastien.

I arrived at practice not incredibly late, but late enough for everyone (except Jamie and my old friends) to be out on the field. After heading into the locker room to put my stuff away, I headed onto the field and found Pierre.

"Hey Pierre, what's up?"

"Hey Chuck! Great to have ya back man, we'll be able to win the games this weekend."

"I hope so man. So listen, I need to talk to you before practice starts."

"What's up?"

"Well, you know how I told you about Seb and I, and um our kiss, well I tried to call him and talk to him, and he hasn't wanted to talk to me and I'm really hoping you can give me some advice on what to do."

"Why not talk to him after practice? He's up in the stands with that kid Patrick."

"No he isn't,"

"Yeah he is he's right over..."

Pierre was cut off by the coach calling him over. He showed me where Seb was before running off to see what coach needed. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him, I waved to him and wasn't sure if he saw me, but he waved and smiled back so I knew he did. It's kind of funny how things work out, I was worried that I was going to have to force him to talk to me on the phone, but here he was at my practice (no idea why they had to take pictures and video tape it though), giving me the perfect opportunity to talk to him.

I wanted to keep staring at him but couldn't since practice was starting. I got some dirty looks from Jamie and his crew, but I blew them off. I really don't need their shit, I'm here to play soccer and win the championship games this weekend. Besides, if I wanted to I could break his face in about .2 seconds. The coach had us play a game, naturally Jamie and I were pitted against each other, naturally my team won. Usually we only have Practice from two-thirty to four o'clock, today though, we went until five o'clock and to be honest, it sucked. Some people think that even if you don't play or practice for a few days you don't get out of shape, but you really do to some extent. I also didn't realize how much fun practice was until I hadn't been at all. After practice had ended I hurried to pack all of my things up. I wanted to make sure Sebastien didn't leave until I had at least talked to him. Luckily for me, his mom was late picking him up.

I walked over to him and called out his name before sitting down next to him. He asked if I had fun at practice and I told him that I really didn't realize how much fun it was. He also asked if I was still suspended from school and I told him I would be back Thursday since we had a game on Friday and you have to be in school the day before the game in order to play, then we fell into an almost awkward, but not quite silence. I needed to talk to him, but school definitely wasn't the place to do it, so I broke the silence and asked if he busy tonight.

"Hey Seb, are you uh going to be busy tonight?" Please say no, please say no.

"Um, not really. I was gonna try to uh start some projects, but I really don't feel like it. Why?"

"Well, I was just wondering if maybe we could hang out or something?"

"Um, yeah what did you have in mind?" Thank God he said yes, I think I was going to force him to come if he said no.

"Well, I kind of want to take a shower before anything, so did you just want to come to my house?" It was true, I reeked.

"Sure, do you have a ride home?"

"Nah, I walked here. Parents were still at work."

"Did you want a ride home? My mom should be here any minute."

"That'd be great, if she doesn't mind." I said this because I really didn't want her to feel obligated to take me, even if I only lived down the street.

"Chuck, you live down the street, I don't think she will."

"I know, but I don't want her to feel obligated to take me home."

"Seriously, she won't mind."

He smiled at me and I smiled back, he didn't seem like he wanted to punch me in the face or anything for kissing him, so I guess the conversation was going pretty well. His mom showed up a few minutes later and Seb asked if it was okay for him to come over and to drop us off, she said yes and offered to get us food so we went to McDonald's.

When we walked in we were greeted by my mom, she was ecstatic to see Seb and asked how his hand was, which I totally forgot he broke on account of me. We headed upstairs to eat in my room and to watch some TV. We made small talk but neither of us wanted to bring up the kiss. After finishing my food I decided to take a shower, I didn't want to smell in case anything good was to happen tonight. I played a conversation over in my head on what I could say to Seb, but none of it seemed to flow right even in my head.

When I got out of the shower I realized I forgot to grab a shirt, oh well it gives me the chance to show off to Seb, and hope that he likes what he sees. When I walked in the room I could feel his eyes on me, I didn't want him to know I knew he was looking, but I knew. I grabbed a shirt from one of my drawers and put it on before going to lay on my bed. We fell into complete silence once again, but before I could say anything Sebastien was the one to speak.

"H-hey Chuck, can I, can I ask you something?" He asked looking at me, and I could tell he was nervous. That made me a little nervous because I had a feeling of what he was going to ask, I played it off like I had no idea.

"Sure Seb, what's up?"

"Well on, um Sunday, when you you know, k-kissed me...well I just want- just was wondering why you did it and if it meant anything."

He wanted to know if it meant anything? Of course it did, was he dumb? Unless, it didn't mean anything to him and he wanted to know if it meant something to me. He probably felt nothing and wanted me to feel nothing so neither of us would feel bad about it. God I'm so stupid, it definitely meant something to me and he needed to know it did, whether he felt anything or not.

"Can you um, please say something?" I didn't even realize I hadn't said anything, but I looked at him and he was looking away from me, so I told him.

"Seb I, I don't know why I did it, but it um...it did mean something." He looked right back at me when I said this, I couldn't tell if he was happy or shocked by what I just said.

"R-really?"

"Y-yeah, I don't know why but ever since I've seen you at school and started talking to you again, I just felt like," I paused, I wasn't sure how to word what I wanted to say. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to share my feelings with him, I did anyway.

"I've just had this feeling like something was wrong in my life, and I guess I didn't know what that was until I started seeing you again. You and I had this amazing friendship, until I screwed it up, but recently I've been feeling this, this connection with you and something inside me just told me to kiss you that night. Can I ask you something Sebbub?"

"You called me Sebbub..." He looked at me again and I hadn't even realized I called him by his old nickname until he said that back. I couldn't deny what I felt now, and I needed to tell him that he was the guy I liked, and I needed to know if I was the guy he liked. So I asked him about that conversation we had on the phone.

"Yeah, so can I ask you something?"

"Sure..."

"Do you remember that conversation we had a few days ago and I asked if you, if you liked anyone and you asked me the same thing?"

"Yeah I remember, why?"

"Well...um, you know how I said I liked a guy, well, that guy's you Seb. I like you." I looked away from him because I wasn't sure how he would react, but what he said I didn't expect.

"Y-you, you really like me? You're um...not just saying that or trying to, um, use me?" I couldn't believe he would think that, but I guess in a way I should've expected it. I just still couldn't believe he thought that.

"Seb, you don't really think I'd use you, do you?"

"W-well, I knew better than that, but I didn't know if you were the same Chuck I was friends with, or if you were just pretending because you knew that I've always liked you."

"Sebastien," I called out his name and moved lower on the bed. I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head on his shoulder, he needed to know I would never use him and that I'm the same Chuck he's always known. And did he really just say he's always liked me?

"I promise you, I'm not using you and I promise you that I'm the same Chuck you knew. I just lost my way for a little bit, and I'm still sorry about that." I whispered against his shoulder and he turned his head to face me.

"It's okay Chuck, you don't have to be sorry. I was just worried you weren't the same anymore, and I'm sorry for thinking that."

"It's okay Sebbub."

I used his nickname again because I wanted to prove to him that I really was the same Chuck, he didn't need to be sorry for anything. We fell into silence yet again, but we just stayed there with my arms wrapped around him and his head resting against mine. He broke the silence again.

"Hey Chuck,"

"Yeah?"

"I've liked you for a really long time you know." So he did say he's liked for a long time before, I wonder just how long.

"How long?"

"A little over two years. I um, started liking you a few weeks before you stopped being my friend."

He looked away from me. I couldn't believe that I didn't notice it, I started to think maybe I did and that's the real reason I stopped being his friend. I also started to think that because he did like me, I probably hurt him a lot worse than I thought and I couldn't believe that I was so mean.

"I hurt a lot worse than you claimed didn't I?" I asked him, I hoped he would say no.

"Yeah, but I got over it. That was until I started school and started seeing you. Then you started talking to me, and it all came back."

"I'm sorry," It was all I could think of to say.

"Chuck, if you don't stop saying sorry, I'll give you something to be sorry about." I smiled.

"What're you gonna do Seb, hit me? You'd only hurt yourself."

"Shut up Chuck, I could hurt if I really wanted to." This I laughed at, I was always bigger than him, he always tried to hurt me but always ended up hurting himself.

"Seb, you've never been able too, and you never will be able to."

"Yeah, well, shut up." He was so cute when I busted his balls, it was the main reason I did that to him.

"You're cute."

Which I kind of didn't mean to say out loud. He turned towards me again and smiled, I smiled back at him and I felt myself lean in closer towards him. I looked at his blue eyes and went in for another kiss. He was expecting it this time so he kissed back, and it was the second best kiss of my life. I pulled away from him and we just stared at each other. I knew right then that I definitely wanted to be with Sebastien, I just wasn't sure if I wanted everyone else to know. He asked the one question I was hoping he wouldn't ask right now.

"Chuck," his voice was no more than a whisper, "what does this all mean? Are we, are we dating? Or are we just going to hook up everytime we're together?" I froze, I wasn't really sure what to tell him. This was my first real relationship I wanted with a guy, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to just jump right in, but I didn't want him to think I just wanted to hook up all the time.

"I want to try dating, but Seb, I've never been in a relationship with a guy before, I know this sounds shitty, but could we just keep it quiet for a little bit?" I started to think about why Seb even liked me, I was an asshole.

"You're right Chuck, that does sound shitty. Why do we have to keep it quiet? I've never dated anyone before, I've never even hooked up with anyone before like you have. This is a lot harder for me than you think. Just because everyone knows I'm gay, doesn't make it easier to have a boyfriend you know." I was almost a little frightened at the tone of Seb's voice, I've never heard him so angry.

"I-I know, but everyone thinks I just hook up with guys for fun, no one thinks I'm serious. I just, I need time Sebastien. Can you give me that? Please?"

"I don't know Chuck," I prayed he would change his mind.

"Please Sebbub?"

"Chuck, I...I don't think it's going to work out that way, you either have to be with me 100% or just not with me at all. You can't be with me only on the weekends or after school, it has to be all the time Chuck."

"Seb, I can't do that, not yet." I was afraid of what he would say next, sure enough, it wasn't good.

"Then I guess...I guess we can't do this yet."

I couldn't believe that I finally found someone I could be with, and it was gone in a matter of minutes. For the first time, I was ready to cry to my heart out. I cried in front of Seb when I told him why I stopped being his friend, but this was so much worse. And it was all because I'm an idiot, that seems to be the story of my life. I couldn't even look at him when he spoke again.

"Look Chuck, I'm sorry, but when you can admit to everyone that you're gay and that you want to be with me, then we can be together. Until then, we're...we're just friends Chuck." I knew he wasn't changing his mind, and if this is really what he wants, then I guess I have no choice than to accept it.

"I-if that's what you want Seb, I respect it. J-just know that I really do care about you and I really do want to be with you." I wasn't just saying any of that, it really was true.

"I know you do Chuck, this is just the way it has to go for us to work, okay?"

"Okay..."

That was all I could think of to say. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, and I held him back. He told me he had to leave, and I let him. I walked him out and hugged him. I wanted to tell him that I could tell everyone I was gay, but I knew I couldn't, not yet. He left and I closed the door behind him, I walked back upstairs not even bothering to say goodnight to my parents, and went straight to bed.

I let myself cry and cry, I still couldn't believe how much of an idiot I am. How could I just let Sebastien go like that? How could I give up so easily? I kept crying until I eventually started to fall asleep, I knew that tomorrow before practice, I had to find him. I had to try to talk to him and prove to him that I was ready to let everyone know the truth about me.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

11

2008-07-07T07:38:24Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck, my faveeee.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 11/20(At least I'm trying for that)
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who comments, sebguitar especially because you leave the most amazing comments!!

2: So I'm not too sure if I really like this chapter. I'm still kind of stuck on where to go. I do wanna try to get this to at least 20 chapters, but I don't know. Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy and hopefully it doesn't suck too bad.

PS. There's probably typos, I wrote this between 1&3AM.

Previous Chapters: Friends Only Journal
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 06 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 07 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 08 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 09 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 10 (Seb's POV)

When I woke up the next morning, I seriously contemplated staying home from my school. My parents were already at work and Kaylyn was at daycare, so it's not like anyone would know. Pat and David would probably be pissed at me if I didn't go, along with Mr. Jones, our video/paper teacher I guess you could call him. He'd be real pissed considering he doesn't have anyone else who takes photos like I do, not that I'm bragging really. Everyone else just takes shitty pictures.

I finally got out of bed, got ready, and had some breakfast. I made sure I had all my stuff for the practice, I really don't know why we need to take photos and videos of a practice, honestly, is it really that important? No, it's not. And of course, I really wasn't looking forward to facing Chuck...still. I know that we kissed, but I didn't know why it was so much harder for me to face him now than just hanging out with him. I think I need to listen to my own advice, or Pat's deep moment yesterday.

I told Pat and Dave that morning in the cafeteria that I had no idea what to say to him. I also told them about asking him to go somewhere, they said he'll probably ask me somewhere so I shouldn't ask...unless he of course doesn't ask. They didn't push me to do anything today like they did yesterday, today they just listened and gave their honest opinions, and I really needed that.

The rest of the day really wasn't too eventful, minus the fact that I now have a project due in every class in the same week. That was 3 weeks from now, enough time to get it down but naturally I won't until the last minute. So of course, I already started freaking out about it. Luckily David was in my Writing and History class, so I didn't have to worry about those classes as much as I did all the others.

The bell rang ending the school day, and I was both happy and extremely nervous. I met up with Pat at the locker we share (we're not supposed to really, but it's easier) and took what I needed for the practice. Then Pat and I walked over to the field, both of us forgetting to bring a jacket, so clearly we were freezing. We headed over to the bleachers and set up all of our stuff that we would need. I hadn't noticed Chuck yet, but practice usually starts a half hour after school so he was probably on his way.

Pat and I sat down on the bleachers and he reassured me about all the doubts I had for what must have been the one-hundredth time that day. Of course there was still a part of me that didn't believe a word Pat or David had told me. Part of me still thinks this whole thing with Chuck isn't real. It started getting closer to the start of practice, and Chuck still wasn't there. Of course Jamie was, when he shouldn't even be playing at all.

Some of the players had started to warm so Pat and I decided we should probably start filming and taking pictures. While I was looking through the lens of my camera trying to figure out how to take the picture with one hand, Chuck finally showed up. I couldn't help but smile at finally seeing him. I started to think that maybe talking to him wouldn't be so bad. He didn't notice Pat and I were there until he walked closer to the side of the field we were on. He walked up to one of the other guys, Pierre I think his name is, and from what I've noticed he usually doesn't talk to Pierre all that much. They seem to be having a decent conversation, so I guess I must've been wrong.

Pierre was called over by the coach and that was when Chuck noticed I was there. He smiled up at me waved, I stopped taking pictures and smiled back at him. God he was so damn cute. I went back to taking pictures (figured out how to do it with one hand), mainly of Chuck but I tried to cover it up.

"I told you this wasn't going to be as bad as you thought. He waved to you."

"Shut up Pat."

"You're just saying that because you know I'm right."

"No, I said that because your camera is on and I really don't want this conversation on tape."

"Oh yeah, I forgot this was on. Don't worry Seb, I can edit it out."

"Yeah, you better."

Finally by five o'clock, two and a half hours later, practice was over. Pat and I packed all of our stuff up and walked across the field towards the front of the school. After seeing Chuck, I was actually kind of hoping I would run into him, but so far I didn't. Pat's mom picked him up before my mom came, so I was waiting by myself. I normally wouldn't care, but I've been harrassed a lot this year, and I'm almost scared to be alone at school sometimes. I sat down on the small cement wall outside of the school to wait. Then I heard a voice, that voice.

"Hey Seb." I turned to look, and sure enough it was Chuck. Of course I didn't need to look to know it was him.

"Hey Chuck, have fun at practice?" I asked as he sat down next to me.

"Oh man, I didn't realize how much fun I have at practice until I haven't played since the game last week."

"Are you still suspended from school?"

"Yeah, I'll be back in two days though, on thursday. I need to be in school at least one day before a game, supposedly."

"That's cool." We fell into silence, it wasn't awkward, but it was slightly uncomfortable. He hasn't asked me anything...yet.

"Hey Seb, are you uh going to be busy tonight?" Okay, so he did ask me, sort of.

"Um, not really. I was gonna try to uh start some projects, but I really don't feel like it. Why?"

"Well, I was just wondering if maybe we could hang out or something?"

"Um, yeah what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I kind of want to take a shower before anything, so did you just want to come to my house?"

"Sure, do you have a ride home?"

"Nah, I walked here. Parents were still at work."

"Did you want a ride home? My mom should be here any minute."

"That'd be great, if she doesn't mind."

"Chuck, you live down the street, I don't think she will."

"I know, but I don't want her to feel obligated to take me home."

"Seriously, she won't mind."

I smiled at him and he smiled back. This was going really well for the most part, and that had me a little worried. I started to think that even if he wasn't using, that maybe he just wanted a simple hook up, and he knew he could get it from me easily. I was hoping that he was just as nervous as me and didn't know what to say. I really, really hope that that's true.

My mom showed up a few minutes later, I asked if it was okay for me to go to Chuck's and for her to drop us off there, she of course didn't mind. My mom asked if she wanted us to stop anywhere for food, she was already stopping for my dad and Kaylyn since she didn't feel like cooking. So we stopped at good ol' McDonald's before heading to Chuck's house.

We walked in his house and were greeted by his mom. She was thrilled to see me again, and asked how my hand was doing. I said it was getting better, then she let Chuck and I head upstairs. We ate his room while watching TV, not really talking about anything important. When we finished he went to go take a shower, and I was left to watch TV. I knew I had to bring the kiss up to Chuck, I really couldn't sit here pretending like it was nothing anymore.

It wasn't very long before Chuck came back into his room, shirtless by the way. I couldn't help but stare, he had these amazing rock hard abs. Well, I wouldn't know exactly if they were rock hard considering I haven't touched them. He (much to my disappointment) grabbed a shirt from one of his drawers and put it on before sitting on the bed. I was thankful he didn't notice me staring at him. He layed propped up on his pillows as I sat towards the end of his bed. Once again, we were in complete silence but this time it needed to be broken.

"H-hey Chuck, can I, can I ask you something?" I asked looking up at him.

"Sure Seb, what's up?"

"Well on, um sunday, when you you know, k-kissed me...well I just want- just was wondering why you did it and if it meant anything." I looked away from him as the room fell silent, again. I was starting to get sick of this.

"Can you um, please say something?"

"Seb I, I don't know why I did it, but it um...it did mean something." My head snapped up at hearing that.

"R-really?"

"Y-yeah, I don't know why but ever since I've seen you at school and started talking to you again, I just felt like," he paused. "I've just had this feeling like something was wrong in my life, and I guess I didn't know what that was until I started seeing you again. You and I had this amazing friendship, until I screwed it up, but recently I've been feeling this, this connection with you and something inside me just told me to kiss you that night. Can I ask you something Sebbub?"

"You called me Sebbub..." I said as I looked up at him. That was his nickname for me when we were younger.

"Yeah, so can I ask you something?"

"Sure..."

"Do you remember that conversation we had a few days ago and I asked if you, if you liked anyone and you asked me the same thing?" Of course I remember, I almost blurted out it was you.

"Yeah I remember, why?"

"Well...um, you know how I said I liked a guy, well, that guy's you Seb. I like you." I swear I felt my heart stop beating. He couldn't mean that could he?

"Y-you, you really like me? You're um...not just saying that or trying to, um, use me?" I looked at him, and he had a look of hurt on his face.

"Seb, you don't really think I'd use you, do you?"

"W-well, I knew better than that, but I didn't know if you were the same Chuck I was friends with, or if you were just pretending because you knew that I've always liked you."

"Sebastien," He said moving towards me to wrap his arms around my waist and place his head on my shoulder. "I promise you, I'm not using you and I promise you that I'm the same Chuck you knew. I just lost my way for a little bit, and I'm still sorry about that."

I turned to face him, "It's okay Chuck, you don't have to be sorry. I was just worried you weren't the same anymore, and I'm sorry for thinking that."

"It's okay Sebbub." We fell into silence again, but this time it didn't bother me. I broke it anyway though.

"Hey Chuck,"

"Yeah?"

"I've liked you for a really long time you know."

"How long?"

"A little over two years. I um, started liking you a few weeks before you stopped being my friend." I looked away from him again.

"I hurt a lot worse than you claimed didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I got over it. That was until I started school and started seeing you. Then you started talking to me, and it all came back."

"I'm sorry,"

"Chuck, if you don't stop saying sorry, I'll give you something to be sorry about."

"What're you gonna do Seb, hit me? You'd only hurt yourself."

"Shut up Chuck, I could hurt if I really wanted to."

"Seb, you've never been able too, and you never will be able to."

"Yeah, well, shut up."

"You're cute."

I turned my head towards him and smiled, he smiled back before moving in closer to me and I knew what he was gonna do. He kissed me, again, but this time I was ready for it and I kissed him back. It was a simple kiss that seemed to last forever. He pulled away and I just stared at him, I still wasn't sure what all of this meant.

"Chuck," my voice no more than a whisper, "what does this all mean? Are we, are we dating? Or are we just going to hook up everytime we're together?"

"I want to try dating, but Seb, I've never been in a relationship with a guy before, I know this sounds shitty, but could we just keep it quiet for a little bit?" Yeah, should've known it wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

"You're right Chuck, that does sound shitty. Why do we have to keep it quiet? I've never dated anyone before, I've never even hooked up with anyone before like you have. This is a lot harder for me than you think. Just because everyone knows I'm gay, doesn't make it easier to have a boyfriend you know."

"I-I know, but everyone thinks I just hook up with guys for fun, no one thinks I'm serious. I just, I need time Sebastien. Can you give me that? Please?"

"I don't know Chuck," I paused, I couldn't be with him, but not be with him at the same time, it was either all or nothing.

"Please Sebbub?"

"Chuck, I...I don't think it's going to work out that way, you either have to be with me 100% or just not with me at all. You can't be with me only on the weekends or after school, it has to be all the time Chuck."

"Seb, I can't do that, not yet."

"Then I guess...I guess we can't do this yet."

I myself almost started crying. This was what I've wanted for so long, and I was giving it up, because he wanted to keep it secret for while. I couldn't deal with that, it would hurt me a lot more than it'd make me happy. I looked at him, and I almost took back everything I just sad, Chuck was near tears.

"Look Chuck, I'm sorry, but when you can admit to everyone that you're gay and that you want to be with me, then we can be together. Until then, we're...we're just friends Chuck."

"I-if that's what you want Seb, I respect it. J-just know that I really do care about you and I really do want to be with you."

"I know you do Chuck, this is just the way it has to go for us to work, okay?"

"Okay..."

I wrapped my arms around him and held him. I decided that it was better if I just left now, if I stayed longer I probably would've taken back everything I said. He walked me out and we hugged before I left, neither of us really wanted to let go. I walked home and let tears drip down my face. My head was telling me it was what I should've done, my heart agreed a little, but my heart also thought I should've just accepted it.

When I got home my dad was still awake working on some papers he had to finish for work. I said goodnight to him before heading upstairs, I decided to go into Kaylyn's room, I haven't spent much time with her recently, I've been so busy with the paper and Chuck, I just haven't seen her. I walked over to her bed and gave her a kiss on her forehead, and I hoped that she'd never have to go through anything I am right now.

I walked out of her room and walked down the hall towards mine. I changed into my pajamas before heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went back in my room, turned off my light, and crawled into bed. My stomach was in knots over what happened with Chuck, I couldn't believe I let him slip away from me. I prayed that he wasn't mad at me and that someday soon, he'd admit to everyone what he feels.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

10

2008-07-02T04:23:09Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck, my faveeee.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 10/20(At least I'm trying for that)
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who comments, sebguitar especially because you leave the most amazing comments!! Hope you all enjoy!!!

2: Okay so, sorry it took soooo long! I was really stuck with this chapter, so it probably sucks. Next chapter should be better and out sooner, hopefully.

Previous Chapters: Friends Only Journal
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 06 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 07 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 08 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 09 (Chuck's POV)

Waking up monday morning, I was still reeling over the kiss with Chuck. It was the one thing I've been waiting for to happen, but I didn't know what to think of it. We've only been friends again for three days, how could he possibly have any feelings for me? I bet he is using me. I bet that whole "fight" between him and Jamie at lunch really wasn't a fight. I even bet Chuck ASKED to be suspended so he could get me to fall for him over his suspension. Sure, we were friends again but I still wasn't sure if I was friends with my old Chuck, or the new Chuck that dropped me as a friend.

I sighed, I knew better than that. Chuck may have dropped me as a friend, and it may have been a heartless thing to do, but he wouldn't be cold and heartless. He wouldn't use me like that, at least I can hope he wouldn't. I rolled over to look at my clock and realized that I've been lying in bed a lot longer than I should have been. I rushed around the house to get ready. By the time Patrick came by to walk with me to bus (like he has been since we became friends since he only lives down the street from me) I just finished getting ready. I made sure that I had everything I needed one last time before running out of the house.

"Late start Seb?"

"Yeah, I was laying in bed and got sidetracked."

"Thinking too much again?" I smiled, I really did have a tendency to overthink things.

"Yeah, I um, I hung out with Chuck last night,"

"Really? How'd that go?"

"Um, I guess it went okay."

"Just okay? C'mon Seb, it's me! Give me the details!" I sighed, I knew I could trust Pat, but I wasn't sure I was ready to tell someone about what happened. It'd come out sooner or later, I know. I just wasn't sure which way I wanted it to go.

"Well, he came over last night for a little bit and told me how his grandma, you know the one I told about that said Superman was a doll? Anyway, I guess she upset Chuck's mom real bad and that made Chuck upset, so we talked about that for a little bit before my mom came in and said that it was getting late, you know school and all," I paused trying to figure a way to say what was coming next.

"So I walked Chuck to the door and said goodbye, but he turned back around and well, um, he kind of kissed me."

"Are you serious Seb!? Kind of kissed? Did you or didn't you?"

"...Did." He jumped on me and hugged me.

"Aw Seb! I'm so happy for you! Are you guys dating now?" I looked at him, he's definitely been hanging out with David too long.

"We're not dating Pat! I don't even know if he really meant it. I haven't talked to him about since I obviously haven't seen him, and honestly, he's probably using me."

"Oh please Seb, stop. You do realize it has been Chuck who's been making the effort to be friends with you right?" Actually, no. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Well, no."

"Guess what Seb, he has! Why would he all of a sudden just decide to 'use you'? Don't you think his friends would have put him up to it a lot sooner if he really was using you?"

"I don't know Pat, and you don't know either! You don't know Chuck, you didn't know him and you never will. I don't even know Chuck anymore!" That was when the bus arrived, I was a little mad at Pat, he just didn't understand. We sat down in one of the empty seats in the back before he started talking again.

"Seb listen, please just listen. You're always the one that gives everyone advice, sure we're only fourteen, but we've had some hard times! Obviously you've been dealing with this stress over Chuck for years, but somehow you managed to help everyone else. Well, now it's time you had some help. There's always a possibility that someone's boyfriend or girlfriend is using them, but loving someone is knowing that there's that possibility, but you're willing to risk it anyway. That's what you need to do Seb, you need to just risk it with Chuck."

"So what're you saying? I should go admit to Chuck that I'm madly in love with him and we should go out? No I can't..."

"Seb! I'm not finished!" Pat raised his voice a little, and it scared me. I've never seen Pat so serious before.

"I'm not saying that you should run to Chuck and be all lovey dovey with him. All I'm saying is that you need to give him a second chance. You can't let this notion of him using you, whether as a friend or fuck buddy, get to you. You need to learn to just let go, you're fourteen, just have some fun. Who knows, maybe Chuck really does feel the same way as you do." I looked up at him and smiled.

"You know Pat, that's really the most intelligent thing you've ever said."

"I told you, I can be deep if I want to be! Tell anyone though and I'll kill you." We both started laughing, but can't even kill a fly! I wonder sometimes about his sexuality.

"Hey Pat,"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

We didn't talk for the rest of the bus ride, and soon enough we arrived at school. We met up with David in the cafeteria, I decided to grab some breakfast from the breakfast program since I had to rush this morning. Naturally, I had to tell David the entire story about Chuck and I. Pat and I didn't mention our talk, but I did tell David I felt Chuck might be using me. He told me that there was no way he was, and that he did over hear the conversation with prinicipal, he knew Chuck wasn't faking what he said.

The bell rang and school began. I didn't pay attention in any of my classes really, I still wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to listen to what Patrick had said, but there was a little part of me that just couldn't get the idea out of my head that Chuck could be using me. I decided that Pat and David are probably right, he's not using me. I wasn't sure when the next I would see Chuck was, but I knew I needed to be his friend and not let anything get in the way of that. If he feels the same about me, then that's great. If he was just using me, then I know better next time.

I was so happy when the bell rang ending school, then I remembered I wasn't going home. I had to stay after with Pat and David to work on the paper, great. I met up with Pat and David, both of whom had beaming smiled on their face. I walked over to them and asked what was going on.

"Guess what I found out!" David squealed, and by squealed, I really mean squealed.

"Ugh, what did you find out this time David?"

"A certain soccer player we all know, and one of us happens to love, will be coming back to practices and will be playing in the games this weekend!" My jaw dropped.

"You're kidding right? He, he's not coming back so soon is he?"

"Yeah! We told you how bad the game was with Jamie! OBVIOUSLY they're bringing Chuck back! Why aren't you happy about this?"

"Gee I don't know Dave, maybe it's because I just kissed the guy and now I'm gonna have to face him a lot sooner than I thought I would. Did you realize we have to be at that practice tomorrow to take even more damn pictures of the stupid soccer team?"

"C'mon Seb, you can't seriously be so upset? Don't you remember anything from this morning?" I sighed, Pat just had to pick this morning to be deep.

"Yeah, I do. I'm just, well, I'm nervouse about seeing him."

"Wait wait wait! What happened this morning?" I smirked at Pat, knowing that HE let it slip a little.

"Pat and I had a deep meaningful conversation this morning, you missed it!"

"SEBASTIEN! I told you not to tell anyone!"

"Patrick was deep? And I missed it! What did he say?"

Pat and I told David what Pat had said, we laughed all the way to the newsroom and got punched along the way. Pat even twisted my bad hand, which he then felt really bad about. I almost forgot that my hand was hurt. I guess the medication was really working. I couldn't help too much with anything since my hand was still all bandaged up. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to take pictures with just one hand, and it wasn't even the hand I taked pictures with. I guess I'm just going to have to use a tripod.

We got to the newsroom and everyone started asking questions about my hand. I just told them I hit on something, they need to know the whole story. The three of us sat down and we had a meeting first. We talked about possibly doing a new layout for the paper, which was already made up by the juniors and seniors. We are all assigned tasks, David and I got stuck with setting up all the pictures from the past weekend's game with the article and leaving a space for the article on Chuck coming back. I told you, soccer really is second to hockey here and luckily soccer will be over this weekend and I won't have to take pictures of the team, and Chuck, anymore.

It was probably about 4:30 by the time we got out of there. School let out at 2 by the way. David and I headed to my house to work on setting up the sports layout. I was almost appauled at David's photos, they were good but not as good as mine would have been. Soon after I got home, the phone rang and my mom called my name. I figured it was Patrick, boy was I wrong.

I had to grab the phone from downstairs, since somehow my phone was broken. I said hello and was shocked by the voice.

"Hey Seb, it's Chuck." Oh shit. I'm really not ready to talk to him yet, that's why I didn't call him back when my mom said he called. Instead of hanging up though, I answered him back.

"Oh, hey Chuck. How are you?" Are you okay after kissing me last night with no explaination?

"I'm good, did your mom tell you I called earlier?"

"Uh yeah, she did. Sorry I didn't call back. I've been busy all day." Which is true, it had nothing to do with me not wanting to talk him.

"Are you busy right now?"

"Yeah, I kind of am. David's here, we're trying to figure out to fit the picture and article from the game into the paper's layout."

"Oh, well I guess I'll let you go then." Oh gee thanks.

"Thanks Chuck, I'll um, I'll call you when I'm not busy. Bye."

I didn't even give him a chance to say bye before I hung up. How could he even just call me like that and act so friendly? I obviously couldn't do that. I would've said I hated him, but I'd be lying. I don't hate him, I'm completely in like with him, not love. Seriously, I don't love Chuck, yet.

"Hey Seb, are you going to tell me what Chuck said or just stand there looking like a goof?"

"Shut up David, he really didn't say anything. All he asked was if my mom told me he called, which she did. The end."

"That's all? He seriously said nothing else?"

"YES David, is that hard to believe? Besides, we're busy anyway!"

"OH please! Like I really care if you talk to lover boy? You just don't want to talk to him, you scaredy-cat!!" I just stared at him.

"Scaredy-cat Dave? What are we fucking 5?"

"No, none of is fucking 5, how do you fuck a number?"

"Dave seriously, I really wonder about your mentality level."

"And I worry about you being a scaredy-cat. Stop being one and just talk to Chuck, you KNOW he's going to talk to you after the practice tomorrow!"

"Not if I run away fast enough."

"Seb, grow up. Just talk to him."

"You're telling me to grow up!? You're the one calling me a scaredy-cat!"

"That's because you are!!"

"Dave, shut up. Let's just finish this."

"Fine, but you have to promise me you'll talk to Chuck after practice."

"Do I have tooooooo?"

"Yes, you do, and don't whine, it makes you sound immature."

"Yeah, beacuse I'M the immature one of the group."

David and I went back to work and we finally finished around 8. He left, and I got ready for bed, all this thinking today made me exhausted. Even though it was really immature, I was being a "scaredy cat." I was (and am) so afraid that Chuck is going to laugh in my face and tell me he was using me. I know Chuck better than that, and I know he wouldn't do that to me. As always though, there's that one part that keeps saying he is, over and over. When something like that just keeps playing in the back of your head, you can't help but to believe it.

I knew that I needed to talk to Chuck, I just needed to know if my head or my heart was right. Maybe I'll invite Chuck to get food after his practice, no restaurants are too public for this talk we'll need to have. Maybe just to my house? Yeah, maybe. I really wish Patrick and David didn't force me to do this, but I guess I understand. They're my friends and they know how important this is to me, even if I don't really realize it. I don't even know what to say to Chuck when I see him. Ugh, tomorrow is going to be such a long day, and I really don't think I'm ready for any of it.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

09

2008-07-02T04:16:11Z

08

2008-06-16T00:54:17Z

07

2008-06-14T05:54:07Z

06

2008-06-14T05:53:04Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck, my faveeee.
Rating: PG13/R, for swearing and just to be safe.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 06/??
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: Thanks to the four main people who comment (I write this for you!). I'm sorry this one took so long!! Hope you all enjoy! :)

QUESTION!! Does anyone get bothered by the fact I have A LOT of dialogue? I mean I know dialogue is good, but I feel I have too much. How do you guys feel about it?

Previous Chapters: Friends Only Journal
Chapter 01 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 02 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 03 (Seb's POV)
Chapter 04 (Chuck's POV)
Chapter 05 (Seb's POV)

As I watched Sebastien leave, I felt sad. He did say we could be friends again, but I'm so scared that it won't be the same like it used to be. All throughout the night I kept glimpsing at him, he didn't seem that happy. He probably didn't want to be here but came anyway because he always said yes to everyone. I also started to feel something tug at my heart everytime I looked at him, and I was pretty sure I was starting to fall for him. I didn't want to fall him because if he decides he doesn't want to be my friend, liking him would be even worse.

I headed upstairs to my room after cleaning up the plates in the parlor. I laid in bed and started thinking about the way my life turned out. I laughed at the thought, I saw my life like I'm 40 years old or something. I started thinking about all the things I've done since I've started high school, and I'm not proud. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to get sucked into everything, I couldn't even believe I was friends with the people I'm friends with. I started to think about them too, the only good friend I have is Pierre. All the others were no good, yet I hung out with them every weekend since the first time I met them.

I wish someone would've noticed all the things I was doing and stopped me, but they didn't and that's something I have to deal with now. It's also something I'm going to change. I'm gonna start hanging out with mainly Pierre, and of course try to hang out with Seb as much as possible. I still couldn't forget the look on his face after I told him why I stopped being his friend. He was so angry, so hurt, and just so sad. Thinking about it made me want to cry again because I still couldn't believe I allowed myself to do that to Seb.

I'm still happy that he said we could be friends, because I obviously really want him as a friend again. I think I want him to be more than a friend though, scratch that, I know I want him to be more than a friend. What if he's already dating someone though? He probably is, I mean Seb's beautiful, I'd be surprised if he didn't have a secret crush or secret boyfriend. He's probably dating that other kid, Seb said his name tonight, what was it though? Eh, whatever, it didn't matter what his name was. The only thing that mattered was that I was going to find out whether he had a boyfriend or not. Then maybe, just maybe I'll tell him that I like him, because yes I, Chuck "the soccer star who's slept with who knows how many girls," likes Sebastien Lefebvre and wants to be his boyfriend.

God do I ever wanna be his boyfriend. I sighed before looking over at my clock, 1:00AM. I've already been up here for over an hour. I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, I thought about getting up and sneaking on the computer to see if maybe Pierre was online. Then I realized that if I really was going to go through with this whole changing my life around thing, I needed to listen to my parents. I rolled over onto my left side and closed my eyes. Seb was still running through my mind but I could finally feel myself drifting off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my mom calling my name and saying I needed to get up. I asked her why and apparently, I'm supposed to have brunch with my grandparents, great. I love them and all, but my grandma is completely neurotic and can be extremely rude. Luckily my mom didn't take after that, you wouldn't even think they were related. I got out of bed and decided I really didn't feel like taking a shower. I was dressed and ready in practically less than 10 minutes. Then we were off.

As soon as we walked in the door at my grandparents, my grandma started. "Oh Chuck honey you're too thin! Have you been taking care of yourself Lauren? You're thin too! Jason, aren't you making enough money to feed your family?" She didn't know how to stop, she also didn't know when an insult was an insult. As always though, we put on polite faces and ignored her comments, even when they were completely out of line.

We were there for almost 4 hours since my grandma didn't start cooking anything until we got there. It's always so awkward being at their house. When she finished cooking though, she made things even worse.

"Lauren honey, what would you like me to cook for Thanksgiving this year?"

"Actually, you can cook whatever you want. We're going to be spending most of it at Jason's this year."

"Oh well, that's fine. I guess your brother is coming in from Boston for nothing then."

"Mom, please don't. We'll stop by later on, it's just we always spend Thanksgiving AND Christmas here, Jason hardly gets to see his family anymore."

"Well, is his brother flying in just to be with his family? I don't think so. Besides, when were you planning on telling me you were going there anyway?"

"Seriously mom, calm down. It's only one Thanksgiving, we'll be spending most of Christmas Eve and Day here. Isn't that enough?"

"Your brother is not coming in for Christmas, he is coming in for Thanksgiving." And finally, as always, my mom snapped.

"For God's sake Mom! Stop, just stop! I've had enough of this guilt trip! I understand Michele is coming in from Boston, but I'm sure I'll see him before he leaves again. So please, just please stop making me feel like such a bad daughter." I looked at my mom and knew she was holding back her tears.

"Well, maybe if you married someone with class who understood you should be with your family, we wouldn't be arguing."

That's when my mom lost it. She excused herself from the table and went into the bathroom. My dad stood up and went after her, but came back a few seconds later. Obviously my mom wanted to be alone. I hated this. I hated seeing my family upset my grandma's a fucking bitch. I feel so bad my parents, my dad's parents accept my mom just as she is and they love her. It's a shame my mom's parents can't do the same thing.

Aside from my grandparents asking questions about school (I left out the whole suspension part, God knows how that would've gone), we ate in silence. My mom came out of the bathroom about ten minutes later. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy. She sat down between my dad & I and immediately my dad's arm went around her waist. I smiled, they were so in love. I wanted what they have, I wanted someone to always love me no matter what (even with my neurotic grandma). I wanted someone who would accept me the way I am. Naturally, Sebastien popped into my head. Naturally, I wanted him to be that someone.

As soon as we finished eating we left. When we got in the car my mom apologized to my dad & I for what happened, and for the things grandma said about my dad. We of course told her it was okay because it was. Sure my dad was upset, but he knew that that was just how she was. We drove home in silence. When we were home it was about 3PM. Already I felt that this was going to be the longest week ever.

I was bored and I really wanted to talk to Sebastien. I couldn't stop thinking about him on the ride home. I asked my mom if it was okay to call him, she said yes of course. I went upstairs to my room, closed the door, and picked up the phone from it's stand. I dialed Sebastien's number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hi is Seb there?"

"He is, but I think he's working on something for the paper, who's calling?"

"It's Chuck."

"Oh hi honey, how are you?"

"I'm good Mrs. Lefebvre, how are you?"

"Good good, hold on I'll get Sebastien for you."

"Thank you." I waited as his mom called him, he picked up a few moments later.

"Hello?"

"Hey Seb, it's Chuck."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing really, I was bored and wanted to talk to someone. What's up with you?"

"Not much, just finished putting some pictures together."

"Cool, so um, what did you do today?"

"Just worked on the pictures, Patrick and David came by and told me how the game went. We lost." My jaw dropped.

"Are you kidding me? How did we lose?"

"Jamie kept passing it to no one. I guess he was so used to passing to you he just completely forgot you weren't there. He blew it big time."

"Did he ever! Ugh man, I should've been there."

"Well, you might be sooner than you think. There was supposedly talk of them wanting to let you play again."

"Really?"

"That's what David said, and believe me he knows and loves drama. He'll make a great tabloid reporter someday." My heart sank, David must be the one he's dating. Maybe I should ask, hmm yeah, I think I will.

"That's cool. Can I ask you a question Seb?"

"Um, sure Chuck."

"Well, I uh was just wondering if you were dating David, not that I really care, I was just wondering." Out of nowhere, he started laughing.

"Oh God no Chuck! David might be bi and all, but he talks way too much to be my boyfriend. I mean it's bad enough when he's a friend, but a boyfriend? I think I'd kill myself." I smiled at this, yay he's single! Maybe.

"So you're dating David, are you dating anyone else?"

"Um, no, I'm not." Now I was really smiling.

"Oh well, that's cool."

"Are YOU dating anyone?"

"Nope."

"Really? Chuck the superstar isn't dating anyone?"

"Nah, haven't exactly found the right person." Yeah, until you came back into my life Seb.

"Is there anyone you like?"

"Yes." Crap, I should've said no.

"Oh. Well, that's cool."

"I guess. What about you Seb? Who have you got your blue eyes on?"

"Um, just this guy. I uh don't think it's gonna work out though." There went my smile.

"How come?"

"Well, I'm just pretty sure he's not gay. Patrick and David keep telling me he is and that he likes, but I don't believe them. Besides, we're not really friends anyway."

"Ah I see."

"Yeah, so who do you like Chuck?"

Oh God, what do I say? I couldn't say that I liked a guy too, but I wanted to tell him that. I wanted him to pry and find out who it was. I really wanted to just say "I like you Seb!" I knew I couldn't though, I just couldn't. Before I even realized what I was saying, I said it.

"I like a guy too." Which was possibly the dumbest way to ever say you liked someone.

"Are you joking with me?"

"No I'm um, I'm completely serious actually."

"So um, who's the lucky guy?"

"It doesn't really matter, he'll never like me back."

"I'm sure he does, you're an amazing guy Chuck, he'd be stupid not to like you back."

"Thanks Seb."

"Hey isn't that what were supposed to do as friends? Help them out?"

"Yeah, I appreciate it Seb."

"Don't worry about it Chuck." We were silent for a little bit, and I all of sudden felt an urge to see Seb. I needed to see him.

"Hey Seb, if I can convince my mom, would it be okay if I um, came over your house?"

"Um yeah sure, just let me ask."

"Okay, I'll go ask too." I went downstairs and asked my mom if it was okay, she was apprehensive at first but decided to let me go anyway. She said I just had to be home by twelve, which kind of sucked. I heard Seb say hello as he came back.

"Is it okay?"

"Yeah, is it okay with your mom?"

"Yup I just have to be home for twelve."

"Okay well um, I guess you can come by whenever then."

"Alright, see you soon Seb."

"See ya."

I hung up and redid my hair. I didn't know why I was trying to look good for him, we've only been talking again for two days. I can't expect him to be my friend and fall in love with me like I did for him can I? Did I just say in love? Oh boy, that's definitely not a good sign. I finished my hair and left the house, promising to be home by twelve. I walked out the door and headed down the street, debating in my head whether it'd be better to tell Seb I like him or just keep it bottled up. Of course, my head and my heart were saying to completely different things. I didn't know which one to listen to.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2 (GO JOIN!), boys_fuck_boys.

05

2008-05-24T04:46:19Z

04

2008-05-22T04:38:17Z

03

2008-05-22T04:14:11Z

02

2008-05-22T04:09:42Z

You Were The Thing Missing

2008-05-17T23:39:05Z

Title: You Were The Thing Missing (Ugh, super lame title)
Author: dgeneration_x
Pairing: Seb/Chuck, my faveeee.
Rating: I think this chapter is pretty G rated.
Summary: Sebastien & Chuck used to be friends when they were kids, Chuck decided he was too cool for Seb. Soon after Seb starts high school (two years after Chuck) Chuck realizes how much he needs Seb in his life. Does Seb need Chuck too? (I think that's actually the best summary I've ever written.)
Chapter: 01/??
Disclaimer: Don't own, never happened.

Author's Note: Okay so 2 posts from me one day will NEVER happen again. I was recently inspired by a challenge over at pxd_addiction which in turn inspired my ten drabbles, which inspired this. It's pretty short, but I hope you guys like it (I think it kinda sucks). Let me know if you think I should continue....or how much you think it sucks. :)

I was eight years old when it happened. Some say you never know what love is at a young age, but I did. Love was in the form of Sebastien Lefebvre. He moved to Montreal from Vancouver when I was eight, he was six. It seemed weird for me to hang out with him, but our parents got along great and soon Sebastien & I did too. All that changed when I started high school though. I turned fourteen September, he turned twelve this past June. It wasn't cool for me to hang out with him, so I didn't.

Of course, I made a lot of friends in high school. I became the star soccer player, I had a different girl (and a few guys) practically every week, and there was never a boring day in my first two years of high school. There was something missing though, but I didn't know what. It wasn't until Seb started high school that I realized what it was. I always knew there was something between us, but I never thought I was ever in love with him. I still don't think I am, I just miss his friendship, and occasionally think of him being my boyfriend, but he'd be just like all the others. I'd move on from him because I didn't love him, at least that's what I kept telling myself.

I saw Sebastien at school for the first time during a soccer game my junior year. He was with another kid, Patrick I think his name was, and they were filming and taking candids of the game. I didn't realize how happy I was to see him until he noticed me. He smiled at me, I smiled back and waved at him. I turned around and headed towards the field for the start of the game.

Seb was my mind the entire time, and my mind really wasn't in the game. We went into our first overtime game for the first time since I started playing. We did end up winning, but it wasn't because of me. Jamie King scored the winning goal, and I was ripped a new asshole. After the game, I looked for Seb to see if was still in the stands, he wasn't. I didn't know why I wanted to see him so badly or why I kept thinking about him. All I know is that something inside me made me want too.

For the next few weeks I caught glimpses of him at school, I never talked to him though. He was always with that Patrick kid and they were constantly taking pictures for either the paper or for the yearbook. One friday when I was at lunch with my friends (most of who were on the soccer team with me), he came up to us and asked if he could take our picture for the yearbook. We all said yes, none of us minded. He took the picture and started to walk away before I called out his name. He turned around and looked at me as I got up from the table and walked over to him.

"Hey Seb, how are you? It's been a while." I smiled at him.

"I'm good Chuck, how um, how have you been?" He looked nervous.

"I'm good, I didn't know you were into photography, when did that happen?"

"I'm not sure, I just all of sudden decided I wanted to take pictures for the paper and stuff. I'm sorry though, I need to cut this short I have more pictures I need to take."

"Oh, okay...well bye Seb, see you soon?"

"Um, yeah, maybe."

He turned back around and walked away. I felt a little sad he didn't want to stay and talk, but why should he talk to me anyway? I've ignored him for the past two years. I walked back over to my friends and they asked why I got up to talk to Seb. I told everyone that Seb & I used to be friends, they laughed and said that Seb was a loser. Jamie kept making fun of him, making fun of how small he was and young he looked. I don't know what happened, but I snapped. I ended up punching him in the face.

I got myself suspended from school for a week, and from soccer for the next four games. My parents were so pissed at me, they asked what happened. I told them about Seb, and how everyone was making fun of him. After I told them that, they weren't so angry at me. They of course still grounded me.

It was the first weekend where I stayed in since freshman year. It was the first weekend I didn't think about wanting to go out and drink, or how many girls I could have sex with that night. It was that friday night that I started thinking about Sebastien again and I wondered if we would ever be friends again.

Cross posted to dgeneration_x, slash_theplan, sebloveschuckv2, boys_fuck_boys.

Comment To Be Added.

2008-04-10T22:03:13Z

I've made this friends only, so comment to be added. :)

fixed

2004-04-12T23:49:32Z

in my update for 'anything to protect you' i figured out what i left out .. it was chapter 04 .. so if you didnt read it go read it .. review .. and umm .. its all fixed .. and disregrad the last entry ..

i think i fucked upp

2004-04-12T02:58:42Z

okay if anyone has some extra time on their ahnds .. read my last post 'anything to protect you' and tell me if it sounds like there is a chapter missing .. i know i fucked up somehwhere .. i just dont know where .. lol .. to anyone who does this thank you! by the way i know it goes form ch. 08 to ch. 10 .. dont mind that .. just tell me if theres something missing .. thank you.